Archive for the ‘JS Cultivation’ Category

CEOs seek honest advisers

If you were to select only eight words that you would like others to use when describing yourself as a leader, what would they be?

Honesty is one of the eight to put on your list. We recently had three CEOs in our office speak openly and honestly about leadership. They were asked questions such as how is managing and leading different, what traits do they look for in their inner circle, whom do they admire as leaders, what do they do in their quiet time to recharge and how are they building up within their organizations the next generation of leaders.

It was a rewarding, refreshing discussion. All three of the CEOs faced and cleared formidable economic hurdles n 2009. They met this turbulence head on, they were courageous in their decisions and did not waver from their principles.

A common thread in the answers was the importance of honesty.  The best leaders are willing to to say “I messed up” on that particular decision. They don’t hesitate to say “I don’t know” when asked a question they truly don’t have an immediate answer for at the time.  They don’t try to resolve every issue but let others work things out when there is a difference of opinion.

They listen, listen, listen. They encourage, encourage, encourage. They communicate, communicate, communicate.

The candid answers reminded of a saying that goes like this;  “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

I will always remember the thoughts shared by these real-deal leaders who spoke from the heart. They were so honest in their answers. We can all learn from this transparency as we ponder our eight words for 2010.

Three tips to improve listening skills

When leaders fail as communicators, in large or small settings, they fail for many reasons. Common mistakes include talking too much or talking down to the recipient. Sometimes a speaker may fail to really drill down on the audience they are addressing. Often, it’s simply a matter of not heeding advice they receive from trusted advisers on ways to improve their message, communications style and conversational tendencies.

In the end, it all boils down to poor listening skills. Speakers often forget to listen.

Everybody can become better listeners. Try doing these three things to become a better hearer:

  1. Ask
  2. Acknowledge
  3. Act

When engaged in genuine conversations, ask more questions than you think you need to ask.  Push yourself to ask one more question than you think you need to ask.

Acknowledge to the person you are talking to that you hear them. You can do this very simply.  Repeat back to them what you think you heard and get acknowledgment that you heard correctly.

Finally, take action.  In other words, follow up with what was discussed and agree to take action to fix what needs to be fixed, set another date to discuss progress or perform any other tasks.

Ask. Acknowledge. Act.  Listening is that simple.

EQ: Trust your intuition, control your emotion

I have been studying emotional intelligence over the last few months and drilling down into various definitions. My overall conclusion is I don’t like the academic definitions I have read about or heard from various folks.

So here is my takeaway on what I believe emotional intelligence is at its core: It is trusting your intuitions, controlling your emotions and factoring in your observations to make timely decisions and take timely action.

In any service business, you have to depend upon your gut at times to make a decision. A lot of this goes back to just having a keen sixth sense on situations. This is what trusting your intuition is all about as part of the EQ definition/formula. Reading people or the situation the right way and then trusting your intuition to do what needs to be done.

Now to do this right, you also have to control your emotions. Lose your emotion and you lose your respect and eventually your credibility. People with a high EQ very, very rarely get upset. They remain calm and carry on. They avoid unnecessary drama.

Finally, one must factor in observations. When you factor in what you are seeing, observe something that needs fixing and then do it, you are leaning on your EQ skills. I have seen such “factoring in” totally change the tone and overall chemistry of a meeting. People with high EQ do these things naturally.  It is like riding a bike for them. Others around them see it and recognize it and want to know more. It strikes them as a brilliant move while the high EQ person just did what she or he thought was natural.

This leads me to the final piece of the definition.  The EQ moment really materializes when you make a timely decision and take timely action. This is the secret sauce. Trust your intuition, control your emotions factor it all in and then – boom – make the decision and take the action that is needed.  That is magic. This is the difference — oftentimes a lasting difference.

So can EQ be learned?

I have asked this question to people who have extreme emotional intelligence. The consensus is it can be learned in some ways but in other ways you either have it or you don’t. But for those people who want to improve their EQ skills, they can move it up a notch or two.

How? Pick someone who has a high EQ and study them. One of the EQ leaders I study is Dr. Tim Elmore, CEO of Growing Leaders. Watching Tim use his EQ gifts is like watching Ted Williams swing a baseball bat. It is poetry in motion. I have learned a lot from Tim, mainly to strive to be a genuine student of the art of business and relationship building. Business is both art and science. The art part still matters perhaps more than ever today in these tumultuous times.

Best CEOs ‘hear between the lines’

The most effective CEOs have an uncanny ability to “hear between the lines.”

They are always one step ahead and understand the importance of motivation and inspiration in their leadership role.

One company that is blessed with exemplary leadership is Chick-fil-ATruett Cathy built his $3 billion company by leveraging his first-rate instincts, staying true to himself and Biblical principles. Truett factored in various marketplace observations to make timely decisions and take timely action. His inventing of the chicken sandwich and the loyal, deep-bench team he has built inside the company exemplifies his keen emotional intelligence and his resolute belief that companies don’t fail, people do.

In the book How Did You Do It Truett, there are many examples of the CEO’s emotional intelligence at work. But it’s Perry Ragsdale, senior vice president of construction for Chick-fil-A, who sums it best when he says, “Truett hears between the lines. We’re talking about different aspects of business and his questions show remarkable insight about where we are and where we are going. He sees through to the reasons about why things are happening and brings a unique business insight.”

Hear between the lines.

These four words sum up what it means to be a leader who fully capitalizes on his or her emotional intelligence.